Feedback and coaching
Constructive feedback examples for managers: positive, developmental and difficult, by scenario
More than 40 examples of day-to-day feedback — grouped by scenario and by tone — with the SBI and COIN models worked through, rewrites of the phrases that backfire, feedback for senior people and for your own manager, and how to turn a conversation into a development goal.
By the CLEAR Talent team17 min read
Key takeaways
- Constructive feedback describes behaviour and its effect, not personality. ‘You interrupted Sam twice’ can be acted on; ‘you are dismissive’ cannot.
- SBI (Situation, Behaviour, Impact) is enough for most conversations. COIN adds an agreed next step, which suits developmental and difficult feedback.
- Positive feedback needs the same specificity as developmental feedback — it tells people what to repeat.
- Give feedback close to the event, in private for anything developmental, and end with something agreed.
- A pattern that keeps coming up belongs in a development goal; one that feedback and support have not changed may need a more formal plan.
Most managers do not avoid feedback because they think it is unimportant. They avoid it because they are not sure what to say, and the first words that come to mind — ‘you need to be more proactive’, ‘great job’ — are too vague to help. Constructive feedback is a skill of specifics: what happened, what it changed and what should happen next time.
This guide is about the everyday conversation, not the review form. It sets out two simple models, SBI and COIN, with worked examples; a five-step way to hold the conversation; more than 40 example lines grouped by scenario (missed deadlines, communication, collaboration, initiative, quality, attitude and remote work) and by tone (positive, developmental and difficult); rewrites of the phrases that backfire; feedback for senior people and upward feedback to your own manager; and how to turn a conversation into a development goal. The table of examples can be copied or downloaded.
What constructive feedback is — and is not
Constructive feedback is information about someone’s work, given so they can keep doing what works and change what does not. It is constructive because it is usable: it names a specific behaviour, explains the effect it had and points towards what good looks like. It can be positive or developmental. ‘Constructive’ does not mean ‘criticism said nicely’.
It is not a verdict on the person, a list of every grievance saved up since the last review, or a compliment sandwich in which the real message is hidden between two pleasantries. Nor is it the wording on a review form. Review comments summarise a period for the record; day-to-day feedback is a conversation about one piece of work while it can still make a difference. Done well, the second makes the first easy, because the review summarises things both people have already discussed.
The SBI model: Situation, Behaviour, Impact
SBI is the simplest structure for feedback and the one most managers find easiest to use in the moment. It has three parts.
- Situation
- When and where it happened, specifically enough that both people picture the same moment: ‘In Tuesday’s client call’, not ‘recently’.
- Behaviour
- What the person did or said — something a camera could have recorded. Avoid adjectives about character (‘careless’, ‘brilliant’) and describe the action instead.
- Impact
- The effect it had on you, the team, the customer or the work. This is what makes feedback persuasive rather than a matter of opinion.
- Worked example (positive)
- ‘In Tuesday’s client call (S), when they questioned the delivery date you walked them through the dependency plan step by step (B). They left the call agreeing to the revised timeline, and I didn’t need to follow up (I).’
- Worked example (developmental)
- ‘In this morning’s stand-up (S), you said the report was “basically done”, but the data section hadn’t been started (B). I told the director it would be with her today, and now I need to go back and reset that (I).’
Stop after the impact and ask a question — ‘What happened there?’ or ‘How did it look from your side?’. SBI opens a conversation; it is not meant to close one.
The COIN model, and when to use it instead
COIN adds context at the start and an agreed next step at the end. That makes it better suited to developmental and difficult feedback, where the conversation needs to finish with a change both people have agreed.
- Context
- The situation, plus why you are raising it now.
- Observation
- The specific behaviour, described without judgement.
- Impact
- The effect on the work, the team or the customer.
- Next steps
- What will happen next, agreed together — ideally proposed by the other person, with a date to check in.
- Worked example
- ‘I want to talk about the supplier handover, because we have another one starting next month (C). The handover notes went out two days after the deadline, and the checklist section was blank (O). The supplier started without the access details and lost most of the first day (I). What would help you get the notes out on time for the next one? Could we look at a draft together on the 12th (N)?’
Use SBI for quick recognition and small course corrections in the moment. Use COIN when the behaviour has happened more than once, when it matters enough to follow up, or when you need a record of what was agreed.
How to give feedback to employees: a five-step conversation
The model gives you the words. These steps give the conversation a shape, whichever model you use.
Check your evidence and your intent
Be sure what happened, and that you are raising it to help the person improve rather than to vent. If you are angry, wait until you are not — but not for weeks.
Choose the moment and the place
Give recognition soon and, if the person is comfortable with it, in front of others. Give developmental feedback soon and in private — a 1-on-1 or a short call, not a group chat.
Say it plainly, once
Use the model, keep it short and do not bury the point in softening language. One clear message lands better than three hedged ones.
Listen
Ask for their view and expect to learn something: a missing brief, a competing priority or a problem you did not know about.
Agree what happens next — and write it down
End with a specific next step and a date. A two-line note of what was agreed makes the follow-up conversation fair and gives the next review something to draw on besides memory.
Constructive feedback examples by scenario and tone
Each scenario below has three examples: positive feedback that reinforces good work, developmental feedback for a first or occasional issue, and a difficult conversation for a pattern that has continued after earlier feedback. Replace the details with your own — the structure is what transfers.
Examples
21 feedback examples across seven common scenarios
Every example describes a hypothetical situation. The ‘Why it works’ column names the part of the model each line depends on.
| Tone | What to say | Why it works |
|---|---|---|
| Missed deadlines | ||
| Positive | “When you saw the data was going to be late, you told me on Monday rather than Thursday. That gave us time to move the client meeting, and they barely noticed the change.” | Praises the early warning, not just the delivery, so the habit is repeated |
| Developmental | “The budget summary came in on Friday afternoon instead of Wednesday, and finance had to close without it. What got in the way, and what would help next month?” | States the gap and its effect, then asks rather than assumes the cause |
| Difficult | “This is the third month-end in a row the summary has been late, after we agreed a Wednesday deadline in March. I need it on time from now on. Let’s agree what changes, and we’ll review it together after the next close.” | Names the pattern and the earlier agreement, sets the expectation and a review point |
| Communication | ||
| Positive | “Your update to the leadership team opened with the decision you needed from them. They approved it in the meeting, which almost never happens.” | Identifies the specific technique so it can be reused |
| Developmental | “In the project email yesterday, the risk was in the fourth paragraph. Two people missed it. Next time, could you put anything that needs action in the first two lines?” | Concrete observation, clear effect and a small, specific request |
| Difficult | “In the last three team meetings you’ve talked over colleagues when they disagreed with you — Priya stopped contributing on Thursday. I need everyone to be heard in those meetings. How can you make sure that happens?” | Describes behaviour rather than character and puts the fix back with the person |
| Collaboration | ||
| Positive | “You spent an hour walking the new analyst through the reporting model. She submitted her first report without corrections, and that’s saved me a week of reviews.” | Recognises help that often goes unseen and names its effect |
| Developmental | “The design team found out about the scope change from the client, not from us. Can you loop them in when scope moves, even before it’s final?” | Explains why the behaviour matters to others and asks for one change |
| Difficult | “Operations have told me twice that requests to your team go unanswered for over a week, and we spoke about this in June. I need a response within two working days, even if it’s ‘not yet’. What would make that possible?” | Sets a clear standard and invites the person to solve how to meet it |
| Initiative | ||
| Positive | “You noticed the renewal reminders were going to the wrong contacts and fixed the list before anyone asked. That probably saved several renewals this quarter.” | Rewards acting without being asked, which is the behaviour you want more of |
| Developmental | “You’ve spotted problems in the onboarding process in our last two 1-on-1s. I’d like you to bring a proposed fix with the next one — even a rough one.” | Turns observation into ownership with a small, specific ask |
| Difficult | “For the last two projects you’ve waited for me to assign each next task, although you know the plan. At your level I need you to pick up the next step yourself. Let’s agree which decisions you can make without checking with me.” | Links the expectation to the role and clarifies the authority the person already has |
| Quality of work | ||
| Positive | “Your test notes on the release listed exactly how to reproduce each bug. The developers fixed all five the same day.” | Ties quality to a downstream result the person may not see |
| Developmental | “There were four calculation errors in the pricing sheet, and the client spotted one. Can you run the checklist before anything goes out, and let me know if it’s missing something?” | Specific about the errors and the effect, with a practical fix |
| Difficult | “Since we last talked about accuracy, three more reports have gone out with errors that the checklist would have caught. I need every report checked before it’s sent. Let’s go through the next one together so I can see where it’s breaking down.” | Holds the line on the standard while offering direct support |
| Attitude and behaviour | ||
| Positive | “When the launch slipped, you kept the team focused on what we could still ship rather than on who was to blame. People came out of that meeting with a plan.” | Describes the observable behaviour behind a ‘good attitude’ |
| Developmental | “When the new process came up in the meeting, you said ‘this won’t work’ and didn’t say why. If you have concerns, I want to hear them — can you bring the specific problems so we can fix them?” | Separates the objection from how it was made and invites the substance |
| Difficult | “Several people have raised the sarcastic comments in the team channel, and I saw two myself this week. Whatever the intention, they are making people reluctant to ask questions. That needs to stop. What’s going on for you at the moment?” | Is direct about the effect and the expectation, then leaves room for context |
| Remote and hybrid work | ||
| Positive | “Your written handover at the end of each day means the team in the other time zone can start without waiting for you. They told me it’s changed how their mornings go.” | Recognises the extra effort distributed work takes, with its effect |
| Developmental | “Your status has shown ‘away’ for most of the core hours we agreed this week, and a couple of questions waited half a day. Is something about those hours not working for you?” | Stays with what is observable and asks before concluding |
| Difficult | “We agreed in May that you’d be reachable during core hours, and it hasn’t happened on most days since. It’s holding up the team. I need that agreement kept, or we need to talk about a different arrangement. What do you need to make it work?” | References the earlier agreement and makes the consequence clear without a threat |
Illustrative examples describing hypothetical people and situations. Adapt the details and the wording to your own team and your organisation’s policies.
What not to say: eight rewrites
Most feedback that backfires fails in one of three ways: it is too vague to act on, it is about the person instead of the work, or it carries a judgement the listener will argue with. Each rewrite below keeps the message and removes the problem.
Reference table
Feedback rewrites
| Instead of | Try | What changed |
|---|---|---|
| Too vague to act on | ||
| “Great job!” | “The summary you wrote let the board make the decision in ten minutes.” | Names what was good, so it can be repeated |
| “You need to be more proactive.” | “When you see a blocker, raise it the same day rather than at the weekly meeting.” | Replaces a trait with a behaviour and a moment |
| “Your work could be better.” | “The analysis is solid, but the recommendation isn’t clear. Lead with it next time.” | Says which part and how to improve it |
| About the person, not the work | ||
| “You’re not a team player.” | “You turned down the review request from Tom twice this week, and his release is now late.” | Describes actions and effects instead of a label |
| “You’re so negative.” | “In the planning meeting you rejected three ideas without suggesting an alternative.” | Gives something specific to discuss and change |
| Loaded or absolute | ||
| “You always miss deadlines.” | “Three of the last four deliverables were late.” | Accurate counts are harder to dispute than ‘always’ and ‘never’ |
| “Everyone thinks you’re difficult to work with.” | “Two colleagues have told me they avoid asking you for help, and I noticed the same in Tuesday’s meeting.” | Replaces an unverifiable ‘everyone’ with what you know |
| “Good work, but…” | Give the recognition and the developmental point as two separate, specific messages. | Stops the ‘but’ cancelling the praise |
Feedback for senior and experienced staff
Experienced people need feedback as much as anyone and get it less, because managers assume they know or feel awkward saying it. The models are the same; what changes is the altitude. Talk about impact on the organisation, the team they lead and the decisions they shape, and treat the conversation as one between peers.
- Strategic contribution (positive)
- “The way you framed the build-or-buy options for the executive team — with the risks of each laid side by side — is why they decided in one meeting. I’d like you to take the same approach to next year’s plan.”
- Developing their team (developmental)
- “You’re still reviewing every proposal your team sends out yourself. It’s keeping quality high, but two of your leads told me they don’t feel trusted to sign anything off. What would it take to hand some of that over?”
- Influence and style (developmental)
- “In the steering group you’re usually right, but you tend to announce the answer before others have spoken, and the discussion stops. Try asking for views first and giving yours last.”
- A missed commitment (difficult)
- “The hiring plan you committed to in January is three roles behind, and I found out from finance rather than from you. I need to hear about slippage on commitments at this level early, from you. What happened?”
- Asking for their feedback in return
- “You see parts of the business I don’t. What’s one thing I could do differently that would make your job easier?”
Upward feedback: examples for your own manager
Upward feedback is harder because of the power difference, so the models matter more. Ask first whether they want feedback on something, keep to one point, describe the effect on your work rather than a judgement of theirs, and suggest what would help.
- Recognition
- “When you took the escalation call with the client yourself last week, it gave me room to finish the migration. That made a real difference.”
- Late changes
- “The priorities changed twice during last sprint, both times after planning. We lost about two days re-planning. Could we agree that changes wait for the next planning session unless they’re urgent?”
- Too little feedback
- “I haven’t had much feedback on the last few projects, so I’m not sure what to keep doing and what to change. Could we spend ten minutes of our next 1-on-1 on that?”
- Meetings and focus time
- “I’ve had meetings added to my focus mornings most weeks this month, and the analysis work keeps slipping. Could we keep Tuesday and Thursday mornings clear?”
- Decisions in the room
- “In the team meeting you decided on the vendor before Aisha had presented her comparison. I think the team felt the work wasn’t considered. Would it help to hear the options first next time?”
Organisations that want upward feedback at scale usually collect it in a structured way as well, through a 360 cycle in which direct reports are one rater group, so people can be candid without having to say everything face to face.
Turn feedback into a development goal
A single piece of feedback deals with a single event. When the same theme comes up in several conversations — positive or developmental — it is telling you what the person should work on next, and it belongs in a development goal rather than in another reminder.
Name the theme
Look back over recent notes and find the pattern: ‘updates bury the key point’, not a list of individual emails.
Describe what good looks like
Write the target behaviour in observable terms, ideally using the language of the relevant competency.
Agree the support and the evidence
Decide what will help — practice, a course, shadowing, a mentor — and how you will both know it is working.
Set a check-in and keep it
Review progress in 1-on-1s, and give specific positive feedback as soon as you see the change.
Example: after three conversations about unclear updates, a hypothetical analyst agrees a goal to lead every stakeholder update with the decision or action needed, reviewed monthly for a quarter, with the manager giving feedback on two updates each month.
Goals of this kind work best when they are specific and time-bound; the SMART goals guide has development-goal examples by role. If a serious gap has persisted despite clear feedback, support and time, a more formal performance improvement plan may be the next step — but it should never be the first time someone hears about the problem.
Day-to-day feedback and the performance review
Feedback conversations and review comments are different pieces of writing. A review comment summarises a whole period against goals and competencies for the record, and it is read by other people later. A feedback conversation is about one piece of work, now, and its only job is to help the person do the next piece better. The phrasing in this guide is deliberately conversational; review-form wording needs to be more formal and more complete.
The link between them is the record. If the outcome of each conversation is noted briefly, the review can draw on a year of specific examples rather than the last few weeks, and nothing in it comes as a surprise. The same discipline helps employees writing their own self-evaluation, and helps a calibration session see the evidence behind a rating.
Where CLEAR Talent fits
No software will hold a feedback conversation for you. What it can do is make sure the conversation is remembered. In CLEAR Talent’s continuous performance management tools, 1-on-1s are scheduled and summarised in one place, coaching agreed in a meeting is recorded as a development note linked to that 1-on-1 and can be kept private, and recognition can be given as kudos tagged to the competency it reflects. Managers keep a performance journal of observations between meetings, each tagged to the competencies it evidences.
For structured, anonymised input — including upward feedback — 360° feedback runs against the competencies in a role profile, with rater groups for managers, peers, direct reports and cross-functional stakeholders, anonymised within each group. When the review opens, the notes, kudos, journal entries and 360° results are there as evidence, and development plans can be drafted from competency gaps and 360° feedback. CLEAR Talent does not run pulse or engagement surveys; feedback here means conversations and recorded evidence.